


This is Why

by atsuyuri_sama



Series: Behind Glowing Eyes [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, I mean he doesn't actively go looking for it but he also doesn't care if his life is threatened, Language, Multi, Spoilers S3E5, but Deaton was telling me he needed a back-story, final almost-episode-compliant chapter, he's depressed, it's separating from canon here, like a lot, original Deaton back-story, sort-of suicidal character, the OFC doesn't actually feature in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 23:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atsuyuri_sama/pseuds/atsuyuri_sama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is why: Stiles wants to remain human; why: Derek went to Jennifer; why: Alan can stay as calm as he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Why

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf.
> 
> This is (I think) going to be the last mostly-canon-compliant story in this series, just because it's developing a life of it's own that I don't see following canon beyond this point except peripherally. This is Part 29.
> 
> The first part was inspired by this post on tumblr – http://audrey1nd.tumblr.com/post/54449117283/honestly-sometimes-the-idea-of-stiles-with; the second by this post – http://katiemorritt.tumblr.com/post/54422820719/no-for-real-why-on-earth-did-derek-go-to-jennifer; and the third just kind of spilled out of me (Alan wanted a solid place in my BGEverse, I guess. This is mainly the reason I've decided to depart from canon here. Once I've got fics for the other episodes [because as-of this posting this was posted out-of-order], I'll start really developing this universe, starting with Part 30.)
> 
> As always: unBeta'd.

Stiles is observant. Like, scarily observant.

It’s not something that anyone has ever noticed before – but then, Stiles has built his personality around hiding it, so that’s not surprising. His mother had always been adamant about keeping it secret; people wouldn’t understand. _Genim, baby,_ he can remember his mother saying, _you’re special. Don’t forget that. Don’t ignore it. And don’t let it take you away._

She was special, too. She called it having a ‘Spark’. (He’d forgotten about it… until Dr. Deaton mentioned it.) For Amanda Stilinski, it manifested in love and care: any unruly child she met instantly loved her and obeyed her; all plants she handled flourished; any crying baby could be soothed; animals never attacked her, some even going so far as to out-right approach her… She simply exuded the air of one who would – and _could –_ care for everyone and everything around her, to the best of her ability and beyond. It was like… magic.

(The spot she died in – the edge of their old front lawn, the house sold mere weeks after her burial – still refuses to grow anything, a small patch of dirt next to the street in an otherwise flourishing lawn, six years old.)

John was never told. _Your Daddy wouldn’t know how to save the town, baby. He’s so determined to save everyone – especially as the Sheriff – that if we told him there was more out there… He would drive himself crazy trying to look for what most humans can’t see until it threatens to eat them,_ his mother said. Those words echo especially loud in his ears every time he wants to cave, and tell John about the Hale Pack. He’s already lost – and been the reason he lost her – Mom; he can’t be the reason for – simply can’t exist without, whatever the cause – his Dad, too.

So for Stiles, his Spark manifests in observation. Dr. Deaton had described it as belief, and that’s true – but only because that is the direction that his Spark takes. Because he sees so much _more_ than anyone else (hello – noticing Scott and his werewolfism from the start, anyone?) he _believes_ what he sees. It can go the other way, too. If he can believe it exists, his Spark will make it happen, allowing him to observe it.

Stiles observes with all of his senses – sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. He is aware of so much more than the average human because of this. As far as anyone is aware, the humans think it’s ADHD, so that’s how they treat his overwhelmed mind: dope him up in the hopes of focusing him. The Adderall works, alright. He can focus more with it, and isn’t so overwhelmed by all the input, because the meds allow his perceptions to keep up.

He noticed when Scott became a werewolf. He noticed Derek’s and Deaton’s connections to their ‘new’ werewolf problems. He noticed Lydia’s and Jackson’s issues. He noticed – and was captured by, but let’s not dwell on that – both Peter and Gerard. Hell, he noticed Allison and Lydia as they _followed the lacrosse team’s bus! And Scott_ – Mr. Werewolf – **_didn’t!_** And on top of all _that_ , he is still the researcher of the Pack; he even sees the connections well enough to read up on them.

That’s why Stiles doesn’t want to be a werewolf. He already has too much sensory information – too much inhuman ability – to deal with as it is. He doesn’t want to become a wolf, and augment his senses even further. As much as he loves the Pack and is jealous of their physical ability (and his own rather sorry 147 pounds of sarcasm), he _relishes_ his sanity.

So, no. Stiles will never choose to be a werewolf. His mother’s Spark saw to that.

**-TiW-**

He should have died.

Many werewolves can handle being dropped from monumental heights. Many can handle being attacked by an Alpha of incredible strength. Not both. He shouldn’t have survived.

Derek came-to face-first in a puddle outside of the dilapidated mall that had been their battle ground, sputtering weakly. He guessed they’d just left him to drown, figuring he’d lack the strength to lift his own head. He should have.

He was too weak; right now, he was beyond a liability to his Pack. He had to get to safety. If the Alpha’s caught wind of him, and really killed him, his Pack would be in trouble. Honestly, he expected Scott would probably step up – that kid had the heart of a child, and the mind of a leader – but that didn’t mean that the Hale Pack wouldn’t be rattled by his death.

Derek was a creature of habit – habit, and severe trust issues. There was only so many places he could go.

His first instinct – his wolf – demanded he go to his den. Den was safe. Den was a place he could deal, and was defensible. The only problem with that: a) his (first-choice den) Loft was on the other side of town, and he would be hard-pressed to go two _blocks_ right now; b) his (second-choice den) Camero, much- and long-loved as it was, had to be traded in, and the new car just doesn’t cut it yet (and was also parked at the Loft, besides); and c) his (last-choice but original den) burnt-out husk of a home is, in spite of being in the opposite direction of the Loft, is nearly as far away.

Since denning wasn’t an option, he would have to go to a person.

The _trusted_ members of his Pack – Scott, Stiles, Isaac, and Boyd – were all completely out of town. As their Alpha, and especially badly injured, he could _feel_ their absence, like a festering wound.

The other two… Well, he _loved_ Cora (and how couldn’t he, she was his _little sister)_ , but that didn’t mean he knew her well enough after a six-year absence fraught with physically and emotionally taxing moments to _trust_ her.

Peter killed Laura. Derek _loved_ Laura. The only reason Peter wasn’t dead (again) was because Derek was concerned that his traitor of an Uncle would find yet another way to come back. It was better to keep your enemies close, to know what they might be up to. Derek neither loved nor trusted Peter; wouldn’t go to him asking for a _nickel_ , let alone assistance for his _life._

Trust was a difficult thing for Derek to come by. There was no question about that. He’d come to believe that Alan Deaton would help his Pack when it came down to it – trusted the man to be invested enough in Scott and Stiles to want to honestly help the Pack – but that didn’t mean he trusted the vet-cum-werewolf doctor to help _him_ in his time of need, without his Pack around, and when both Scott and Stiles had been so vocal about their distrust of him at one time.

While Derek believed that Chris no longer held any animosity for his Pack… Well, his instincts just rebelled against the notion of a werewolf (especially Alpha) going to a (even if former) Hunter for help. It just wasn’t done.

The only other person he knew (that also knew about the werewolf issue, which thus didn’t include the Sheriff, who was more likely to arrest than assist him, anyway) was Melissa McCall. He’d seen how well she fell into their world – he’d watched with something close to awe as this _human woman_ began to treat her werewolf son in the same way that any werewolf mother dealt with her pups. Derek knew a natural when he saw one, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the day came that woman _requested_ the Bite. He _almost_ trusted her – in this case, the fact that she was Scott’s mother was enough for this moment. But that didn’t do him any good if Scott and Stiles were in the same neighborhood – and they were – and the school was close enough to this mall for kids to walk to it – and it was – and add that to the fact that Stiles drove Scott to school every day… Melissa was just too far away.

Really, if Derek was being honest with himself, he only trusted two people right now, out of _all_ the people he knew. Scott and Stiles. Boyd and Isaac were still impulsive pups; Cora was an unknown; Peter was a bastard; Lydia was bound to Peter, as much as it was involuntary; Chris was a former Hunter, and an Argent; Allison was a post-crazy, maybe-sympathetic, but also Argent Hunter; Melissa would protect her son above all else; same with John Stilinski, plus his ignorance; Alan was more of a mystery than anything; he had only met Jennifer a grand total of twice; and it was obvious why he didn’t trust the Alpha Pack. He really knew very few people in the grand scheme of things.

As much as he trusted Scott, though, he trusted Stiles more. Stiles was the one whose room he could sneak into, the one he could trust to saw off his arm, the one who held him above water for two hours, the one who – if it came down to it – loved his father, but would probably leave the man, if it meant keeping John safe (a thing Scoot had already proved unwilling to do). He wanted Stiles. Even just Stiles’ _room_! But it was as far away as anything else.

In an effort to get himself somewhere safe, as he thought, Derek had been dragging himself along. Having eliminated every option, when he stumbled into the school parking lot and caught a whiff of _something_ familiar, he moved towards it.

He really regretted leaving a bloody handprint on the nice school teacher’s car (couldn’t abide by it – Stiles’ Jeep was the only one that had been christened by his blood, aside from his precious Camaro!), but he was already losing consciousness. As he faded, he imagined that her eyes glowed golden, her long dark hair shortened, and her concerned face grew horrified but determined.

He really missed Stiles. Trust was hard to come by.

**-TiW-**

Alan Deaton would like it known for the record that he used to act as liaison for the Hale Pack in its prime, as he acts for Scott and the new pups of the Hale Pack now.

He was raised in a Pack of his own, a human with the Spark. He was determined never to receive the Bite… and just as determined to save his Pack from any trouble that might befall them.

He learned what it meant to live with Pack as a human. He researched all manner of magics that his Spark seemed to resonate with (mostly Druidic, as evidenced by the recent Druid murders that he could explain to Stiles). He has seen his fair share of supernatural dangers, human horrors, and death.

When he was found by his Pack – and _their_ advisor-cum-veterinarian – he was firmly housed at Rock Bottom. His Pack lifted him out of the dirt, dusted him off, and gave him a home. He fell for the eldest of the Alpha pairs children, the woman who would become Alpha when they stepped down, and she fell for him. They’d been dating (deciding to take it slow, and Mate only if they married) for five years before he proposed to her.

The Pack was joyous when she accepted.

Then they found the young straggler named Joanna Morrell. Her family had been killed by Hunters as they sought a Packless Omega, and she was filled with rage and a desire for vengeance. They took her in, fostered her, and taught her what it meant to let go of her anger. A year later they sent her off to school to become a counselor, and Alan and his lady-love Mated and married.

A rogue coven of vampires attacked their Pack, and decimated it in days. Alan found himself at Rock Bottom again, even worse off than before. He could not think of his Pack without breaking down, could not even think his Mate’s _name_ without shattering like glass. He wandered for five years – without contacting Joanna – when he stumbled into the Hale Pack.

Their advisor had recently died (of old age, a strange end in this world of theirs), and they were in need of one. They offered him the position, and he accepted, eventually growing close enough to be comfortable with adopting the Pack; they could smell his old grief and let him go at his own pace. Then _they_ died, too, and he swore he was done with it all.

It didn’t work out like that, obviously. Joanna moved into Beacon Hills without knowing. Scott got Bitten. Derek returned. Jackson became a kanima, and then a werewolf. An Alpha Pack was encroaching on the Hale Pack lands.

Alan had seen enough in his time. He could see himself too easily in Stiles. He swore he’d do for this Pack what he couldn’t do for his own, and maybe Stiles and Derek wouldn’t end like he and his Mate had.

But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t welcome death. A person without a living Mate would never find anyone else, and would never again be whole. He would always miss her, and want to be with her. Just… while he was here, he would help the Hale Pack (because she would never forgive him if he committed suicide).

It wasn’t his fault that his experiences made him knowledgeable (and, coincidentally, mysterious), nor was it his fault that his… not-exactly-happiness, his apathy for death, his quietly driven determination to prevent his misery in another, gave him what the pups of the Hale Pack often called creepy-calm, either.

He was just existing for them, until he could find her. However it happened.


End file.
